i am so weird. i say it in a way that is in no way, a compliment. (most of the time, synonyms of weird make me swell up like a robin)
i really salute the people who are around me. i am moody, grouchy, cranky, crazy when i am dutifully being a girl. for the whole day today, yesterday, the day before yesterday, jeannette, michele and candice have been putting up with my expressionless face. poor jeannette, she was relating to me about her life as usual and i nodded that i heard and continued staring at the blank table in front of me. she had to laugh at her own jokes. basically candice just ignored me like she would, and michele just followed candice. but i am still very apologetic about my behavior.
i realized some of the flaws in people that i dont like and i havent been able to deal with it until i just had some reminder by life. i’ve always known that i am too much of a delicate flower with everything nice in my life, i’ve also always wanted to change that. i want to be tough, but i am just not. sometimes when i think i have changed, i would look in disgust at other people whom i think, are spoiled. it has never really occurred to me that i am pretty much no different.
it’s a very sad thing when you have been visiting your own blog yourself and reading what you wrote yourself. but since there are SO many zillions of people on earth, each has their life story, all expressing themselves, i guess i dont really mind people not bothering about what i have to say, because i hardly care what others have to say too and i cant seem to take this blog seriously. it’s just for the fun of it.
i tolerate you because i am your friend, but it gets disturbing listening to you:
1) talk about yourself too much as if no one else existed
2) praise yourself
3) praise yourself of something you think you can achieve, but know nuts about it and have never tried doing it
4) take pride in whatever-it-is you are good at
that’s all.
i have a feeling i do all of the above too sometimes. i have been trying very hard not to. to an extend that i dont talk, it’s all good now.
–
for the first time in a very long time (almost an entire year), i have finally missed my long locks. when it is long enough to cover my insecurities and enchant unknowing people, i shall want to dye it in this color that no one will be able to place their finger on what color it is. “it’s blue” “no, it’s red” “it looks green to me” “it’s yellow!”
i can’t wait.















