it’s the midterms. and im very distracted. this is a very good outlet to vent. making up riddles and writing between the lines as i go. no one knows what i really mean, and they all end up reading with their heads tilt sideways at the end of the day.

stressed to the point i no longer care about food. im THIS stressed. im solemn, im shut in and im on the verge of buying that awesome biker jacket online. im trying to keep this light. recent events have put me back in my place where i see for myself, the priorities in life. but what are they actually? im torn. on one hand, it’s the dream we’re all living in: riches, kindness and reaching to our goal. on the other hand: walking on hot tar roads, hard work and sweat. both are reality. which one is mine?

it’s a mixture.

–

oh yeah my birthday.

on the third, vivian gave me this really beautiful t-shirt for my birthday. which, i wore on the day itself!

on the day before my birthday, after MSSJ, the swimmers and i went out and stuff, finally had dinner at this hawker place (everything ordered was unexpectedly my favorite dishes! porkchop tofu, steamed eggs, otar, fish, and veggies which i did not eat at all oops). then someone came up with the idea of buying a small cake at the bakery beside the place we were having dinner and celebrate in advance. so we finished our food and headed over.

i wanted to have the barbie one with jelly skirt but they laughed it off :(

the bakery was closing. we sat down, lighted the candle, they sang me a birthday song, i made a wish, blew out the candle and cut the cake.

even though i knew it from the start, even though it might have just been a coincidence of fun & timing, i was really very touched that the swimmers were doing this! <3

the last time was 2005 (if im not mistaken). i was super young (13), i was super tanned, short, thin, had sepet eyes and long curly hair tied into a tight ponytail, wearing my then-favorite red collared shirt and jeans. everyone was in town for the MSSM training. i forgot if it was really on my birthday, earlier or later, but the occasion was certainly for my thirteenth. so i asked everyone out to the then-coolest and only one hang-out place, summit parade, pizza hut on me, brought two hundred out and was left with twenty. wendy and i went off on our own and the boys themselves, i was kinda annoyed hanging out in a not-hanging out way, but after a while, wendy and i walked back to the entrance of the cinema where everyone was supposed to meet again for the movie (cant remember what it was). and from far i saw a couple of them there, and made our way towards them. and i can still remember how when we reached them, haojie & edmund walked out of the corner and everyone chorused happy birthday to me. in their arms, were snoopy & a big plush doggie! my jaw dropped. i scrambled to pick it up and say thank you. i cant remember where the snoopy is (because it’s too hard for nightly cuddles) but the big plushie has been cuddled every night :) though half of the time ben’s the one who’s cuddling it, i had to lend it to him.

anyway back to year 2010, it was a small party but a very fun & spontaneous one. it meant a lot to me :)

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that night, i ran up and down and inside out the house frantically searching for my phone. where could it be?! then i called my friend and went, “omghiicantfindmyphoneithinkileftitinyourcarhaveyouseenitdiditringcanyoupleaaaaselookforit?” long story short, it was in his car all along and that night, my birthday past without any calls or messages in sight. it was all in kluang =.=

still. on my birthday itself, i went to school all happy and serene. of course you’re probably wondering if i expected anything but i really didnt. midterms was three days away and it would be gruesome to force my friends to celebrate my birthday with me. flashback, i spent my fourteenth mugging geography for midterms that year. anyway, so people wished me happy birthday, i warmly received them and sent back a thank you each and did my work. well actually i talked a lot but spending time on my work sounds nicer. :P

recess came. i strolled to their class feeling really sleepy thanks to the late nights. kaijing walked out (unusual sight) and asked me to accompany her outside in the sun because the morning was cold. i did, and i kinda chattered on and on about… something. a while later, xueyun and sisi came up from behind us and asked us what were we doing in the sun, photosynthesis? so we went back to their class and that was that. until when we were comfortably crowded around xueyun’s desk, she suddenly asked me for my chinese textbook. i was skeptical because my textbook was one of the printed errors with lots of pages missing (makes me wonder how eugene studied chinese in his sm3 year. if he studied at all, that is). but i went back to my class anyway for it.

i was trying to remember if i kept it in my bag or in my drawer, scanning the drawer for it, until i noticed that there’s an unidentified unfamiliar THING on my desk!

like, ZOMG!

a scream escaped from my lips and i was nearly in tears. i didnt know how to react, so i just raced back to them, jaw a-hanging, raced back to my class because i thought something had to be done with the cake. and the rest, is history.

yeah well, they actually made me do this. it was a miracle i survived being caked.

i like the last picture because i think i look very thin in it. *frivolous fool*

to be continued… im going to my friends’. we’re going to revise math. if you believe us :P