i have never dared to mention my lifetime goals or like, where im going to further my studies, what i hope to be and all that. because im just too scared of not being able to achieve them and how people would think and look at me if they never happen. but today im going to spell it out loud. there is like, 101% im not going to make it, but i think life is too short for secrets and regrets. it’s kinda like an adrenaline rush talking about this haha /nervous.
1) Cambridge – since forever. with my grades, there are like, millions of people who are in line before me. but it’s still there, the longing is so driven by… i dont know, inspiration. does this even make sense? because it does somehow. i have to find a way to lure it out. im no physic nerd or math geek pardon my language and i cant pass chemistry. but to me you-know-what is more than grades to me (even though it’s highly not likely and a lot about if you can afford it or not), it’s like this huge place reserved for the inspired and inspiration. you go there because you are good enough to be yourself, be the kid you are, be the core of art and blah what AM i talking about, but it’s so magical… /wipes away tear. geez i should work in disneyland lar like that.
2) this is a little bit hard for you to understand the importance of it but Family. okay maybe not. the thing here, is to be able to afford enough or more than enough, to gather my family from all over the world (USA and malaysia only actually haha) for a get-together. airfares, compensation for all their losses of leaving their jobs for that period of time to come, accommodation, food… in short, everything. i just… want us to be together. i have not even seen RJ & Jett!!!!!! & they have not seen Dylan & Tyler!! atrocious!
3) Red Sports Car – i was somewhere in kindergarten when i had this dream. my sports car has to have lights that can flip open on the front sides. geez, im confused. i dont even like red. but the reason im still alive, is because i still dont have that red sports car. so… yeah.
but you know how life is, right. im not sure but im taking a wild guess here. i finish high school, i go to college, i go to university somewhere, get a job, marry eventually because if it will be either sink or swim, then i’d have children, then spend the rest of my life trying to make them finish their homework, then die one day… yah cool. so predictable like watching mediacorp tv shows. and i’d probably end up driving a proton saga or something =.=
OH WELL.
you cant imagine. i have spm chinese tomorrow and im this crazy empty-brained GENIUS.