Pocketful of Treasure

PostSecret

Some of the quotes:

Eat breakfast.

Look people in the eyes when you are talking or listening to them.

Libraries are a good place. The books are free there, and it smells great.

If you can’t draw as well as someone, or use the software as well, or if you do not have as much money to buy supplies, or if you do not have access to the tools they have, beat them by being more thoughtful. Thoughtfulness is free and burns on time and empathy.

Keep two books on your nightstand at all times: one fiction, one non-fiction.

Think about what experiences you have that many others do not. Then, think of what experiences you have that almost everyone else has. Then, mix those two things and try to make someone cry or laugh or feel understood.

Take things away until you cry.

Learn to write, and not school-style writing.

If you say “retro” too much you will get hives and maybe die.

If you meet a person who cares about the same obscure things you do, hold on to them for dear life.

When you ride the bus, imagine that you are looking at everything from the point of view of someone else on the ride. If you walk, look up on the way there and down on the way back.

Most important things happen at a table. Food, friends, discussion, ideas, work, peace talks, and war plans.

Everything is interesting to someone. That thing that you think is bad is probably just not for you.

Second-person writing is usually heavy-handed, like all of this.

Be suspicious of lists, advice, and lists of advice.

Frank Chimero

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How I Met Your Close Friend

today was a very extraordinary day.

jianyee is one of ruwen’s close friends. i am ruwen’s soulmate. so it’s the close-friends-&-soulmate meeting today when jianyee & i went out for lunch together at uncle seng’s handmade noodles. it started at 1pm, then when we finished lunch, we decided to go window shopping at the boutiques around here. we went to clothestory, and apparently spent SEVEN hours there.

if you may think it’s completely marie-antoinette of us to stay in just one boutique for seven hours, let me elaborate.

at first, i was skeptical about even going to a boutique because i cant shop.

i cant shop as in every chinese new year when we’re supposed to be crazily shopping for new clothes, i buy one normal tee-shirt and stick with it throughout the festive season, when the rest of the girls are parading their clown-clothes, changing in and out of them throughout the day like in a fashion show. i just wear my tee-shirt & jeans, sit in the kitchen and pick my ba-guas. :D

i cant shop as in i need know that i have this much to spend then only i will shop with the amount. and right now, my cash is so limited that i only have enough to eat for the rest of the month. thus, not in the mood to shop.

i cant shop as in i simply cannot buy anything that is not black or white. that used to be then, i’ve been improving, i’ve been buying clothes that are wholly in other colors. just not with patterns, prints and all, i cant bear it.

anyway. so when i walked in the shop, jianyee straight away went for the clothes on the rack and into the fitting room within 2 minutes. i did a little stroll around one of the racks, trying to look polite and sat down on the sofa, with full intention to finish reading the book in my hands.

the salesgirl started talking, jianyee started asking questions, they both took more clothes for jianyee to try on, i looked at them amused, listened to them talk. and in the end, i stood up and look around more, picked out clothes when no one’s looking because i always tend to feel self-conscious of what people’d think of my taste in clothes when they are looking at me browsing the clothes. in the end, we just sat down and talked like old friends.

the one dress jianyee didnt buy.

talking to April is very, very comfortable. she has that innocence of a fairy girl (or that was how it seemed like throughout the seven hours), she is honest and she didnt give us the impression of a haughty, judging salesgirl we would find in G200k or Forever21. she’s the kind of person you very easily get comfortable talking to.

jianyee and i settled for the conclusion – she’s from kluang, she’s a johorian. with all due respect to KL people, she is NOT the typical kind of KL people. i like how April did not try to force any clothes on me when i didnt look comfortable being there at first.

she told us a lot about herself, how clothestory began in the first place, and in return, we talked a little bit about ourselves. i’ve always had the impression that boutiques’ salesgirls are the ones who would sell anything on the rack to you no matter your/their opinions, as long as you have the money, here’s a big smile for you!

but April told us about how clothestory is catered for college students because that’s who her regular customers are. the price, the style of clothes are all what we students would buy. furthermore, she only has only one for every single design, size & color, so people wont be wearing the same thing on the streets. most of her clothes are directly from korea, taiwan & hongkong, she travels there every three months to bring in new stocks.

i think she’s awesome. it’s so near also! ah im so happy i found a boutique i’d actually like visiting again. price-wise, salesgirl-wise, boutique-feeling-wise, clothes-wise, location-wise. this might sound like an advertorial shiz, but i am not paid to write this. this is from deep-down the bottom of my heart. i really like clothestory, and im not afraid to share.

dont worry, i will only spend what i earn. i know my limits.

anyway, after i finally dragged jianyee out of the shop because she just couldnt stop buying clothes she stumbled upon that she looked nice in, which was EVERYTHING, we went for dinner at around 8:30pm for the most awesome-cheap fruit juice ever!

SS15 is awesomo :D

in conclusion, the real one that matters, close-friend & soulmate of ruwen clicked! :D

the best thing:

i came back and saw this

haha damn touched.

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Posh much?

michele got us reservations for lunch at tangerine today. tangerine is one of the student-handling restaurants in taylor’s lakeside campus. where hospitality students get to practice their serving skills on white mice customers.

we were told it was RM10 per person, but eventually found out that it was RM15 per person for everything (appetizer, main course & dessert). extra RM3 for drinks though. again, we didnt know that until the bill came. it was kind of obvious the waiters and the kitchen were just as confused as each other. im not sure how much of training or learning they went through, kenneth’s 18, we asked, so probably cant be much i guess.

jeannette’s my lunch date! the few rules are, only diners who made reservations the day before, are welcomed to dine-in. semi-formal attire is required (no shorts, slippers or jeans).

throughout lunch, jeannette and i were insanely hyper, laughing at anything, everything. what i didnt quite like was how they separated us into pairs. geez, cant we all sit together? we got kenneth – a quite nice boy to serve us. and did we annoy him. :D

we kind of also didnt had the chance to actually order anything because they had the full course on the menu. no choice given. jeannette hated the pumpkin soup (i licked mine clean, figuratively speaking); i didnt know how to eat a chicken (that looked really, just like a bird) with fork & knife, ended up scraping desperately at the meat, eventually i just gave up. didnt eat much of the main course, while jeannette finished hers.

but we did agree on something. the dessert. some pie with apricot in it. it was really good, the type of food i dont mind eating for the rest of the month. we did scrap off the cream though, neither of us like whipped cream. or any other cream to be exact.

and that was that.

this ring came from childhood, i wear it sometimes in my life to remind myself of the magic, sweetness, love & colors of it, that if i were to be trapped in whirlpools of difficulties, struggles, i slip on this ring, think about all the lovely things about it, & pull myself out of my despair. it’s just a ring, but i try to believe otherwise. :)

these are the books, wait, let me say this again, THE BOOKS kind Ms Ngim borrowed me!

I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh. this.

i came back home and had this.

the end wtf.

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My Favorite Days

Mondays: After a solid weekend of solitude, I will be finally seeing my classmates again! Not just my own intake people, but other semester two people. All the way from eight in the morning to three in the afternoon, my girls will be stuck with me with no choice but to layan my annoyingness and eat with me. Talk about barbaric domineering. The day will be left with too few hours to be sad about being alone, which is marvelous. I go home, tidy up a bit, shower, come online, read a few lecture notes, pack my bag and off to sleep.

Tuesdays: After classes at twelve, I will spend the rest of my day working, get off at evening and go home. Again, too short the time to be sad. Sometimes, I call my friends back home and let them know that I am still alive. I finish my chores and go to sleep again!

Wednesdays: Having a huge class with the semester four people for lecture. Off to work again and learn some things, come home, spend a little time on the usual daily chores and off to sleep. Particularly on Wednesdays, I would dream about home. I make it a habit to do just that.

Thursdays: Absolute favorite class of the semester that keeps me thinking for the rest of the week starts at eight in the morning. After that I get to go home and chill. Sometimes, my girls will have plans for shopping or a movie and there goes my thursday! If not, I would busy myself with trivial things like folding plastic bags, drawing a stick figure on the wall, do sit-ups, count my toes and listen to freshly downloaded music.

Fridays: The only weekday I get to buy Subway breakfast, sometimes I buy some for my girls. Classes start at ten, with a two hour lunch break then at four, I chao. Sometimes I work. & sometimes, I run (figuratively speaking) back home, grab my things and go back home! Home as in, home home Johor home. :D

Saturdays: Wake up only when I feel like it, take a bus and go to gym to work out all the spaghettis, donuts & waffles I ate in the week. Come home, nap a bit, send/collect my laundry, stroll around my room a little, chew my nails, inspect my feet, sometimes stick on some tattoos around my wrist, debate with myself why i should get dinner, chew some more nails, succumb to hunger and buy dinner, shower a bit then off to sleep.

Sundays: Fail to get up for a jog. Then shower, go to work, play Facebook at work, eat lousy food at work for lunch, do repetitive mindless work for the rest of the time, smile sweetly when asking someone if they could drop me off home, phrase questions so that they could not refuse. Come home, shower, get ready for school, read some lecture notes, give up attempt, brush teeth, sleep.

I love every day!

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How to be alone

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Cacklers

how simple, how normal is one meal of mamak hawker style dinner.

how happy it made me.

sick of being alone cropped up within four walls with only what we’re supposed to do lining up for us to get them done. the craving of a little, just a little bit out of track of normalcy made candice, michele and i sat in the cafeteria for four hours just to avoid it.

we got it, you could say.

at night, the sarawak laksa, hokkien mee, fried carrot cake, fried oyster & bali drinks. it was really nothing, but i felt so at home and relieved by the little things – talking over dinner, having dinner, having dinner malaysian style through and through, chilled, no curfew.

to ‘add an extra plate of brownies to the first plate’, we’re going on a field trip tomorrow to RTM! have totally no expectations of ‘fun’, but at least it breaks out from our routine. that’s what im looking forward to.

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湿的

冲凉房 湿的 走路回家 湿的 冲凉出来滴到一整间 湿的

心情不怎么好 有几天了

仔细算 从头的长期开心穿插一点伤心 已经不懂从几年前倒转过来变成 长期伤心穿插一点开心了

以我生命的原则 这个 太失败了

每天没有什么可以盼望 那张床 看了也没有开心 躺下去就只有失眠

除了读书还是读书 不读书就看看书 但是还是书!

没有游泳 没有跳舞 没有钢琴 没有小提琴

会 、厉害 又怎样

在我最需要它们的时候 全部跑去哪里?

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这叫抱怨

我从前很看不起整天只会埋怨自己生活的人

呵 现在的我没什么两样

办法不是没有 只是需要长期花时间 心思 精神在追求这些已经失去的东西

我办不到 很累

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问题在于 我从来就没有在别人面前表示出一点的失落

所以有种被逼到悬崖边缘的感觉

我开始清楚 不管你是谁 无论人缘再好 偶而在笑声中 也会有这种孤单的感觉

而目前我领悟到的解决方法就是 - 逃避

让自己没有独处的时间 身旁一直有人在玩在闹

让自己忙到团团转 一直在人群中想办法脱颖而出

自然就不会想这么多 自然就不会没事哭

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我想家

但是我不回家 因为回家不能解决任何事情

离我这么遥远的地方里面的人事物 都帮不了我

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如果这是一场病

我在康复中

给我一点时间 我会站起来~

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Stupidity

three things.

three things i absogoddamnlutely cannot stand.

1) promising to get back to me with news/information but never did got around doing it.

- you’re not the only one with plans. let me know so i can get on with mine.

2) calling me, making me wait until he/she finishes conversation with another person in the background.

- you’re not the only one i have to talk to. what’s so hard about hanging up and calling later?

3) saying things you don’t mean.

- why did you say it in the first place?!

just three things about you, you and you that i cannot tahan.

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Remedy

in order not to annoy, irritate, freak, scare any new friends away, i’ve been trying to stand in their shoes and look at myself in my direction, trying to change for the better accordingly. here are a few types of me i’ve noticed i have allowed myself to be in front of them.

  1. happy – laughs at nothing. laughs at everything. chatters all the way through tutorial. grins for no reason. says stupid things.
  2. sad – finally shuts up. has that ‘look’.
  3. serious – pays full attention in lectures. mouth never twitches at any jokes. looking as though trying to shoot laser beams at slides.
  4. bossy – says “No” the moment anyone tries to say anything without waiting them to finish their sentences.
  5. tired – has that “will-fall-asleep-anytime-now” look. zones out in the middle of conversations. seems to have dozed off accidentally.
  6. impatient/pissed/wanna-fight/whatever-you-call-it – raises eyebrow. gives victim death-stares. then ignores victim completely.
  7. layan-ing – smiles looking as if just drunk bad milk.

anymore anyone else would like to add?

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I found a pill!

this calls for an emergency press conference.

many of us are surrounded by friends, family, many of us still have those lonely moments.

i highly urge all of you, all of us, to believe in this: WAITING IT OUT.

when you feel like you cant talk to anyone, cant do anything to feel better, you take your mind off your feelings, let it pass. dont face it up-front and make it worse. a bamboo bends in strong winds, a tree would just break.

if you would just ignore it, wait it out, you could find solutions for it later when your brain can work normally again.

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